Managing Expectations

Written by Nicky King

This is a lesson for me on how to manage expectations. I am sure this subject has been covered before, so I searched for “the best way to manage expectations.” The results revealed that “it can be difficult when reality doesn’t measure up to your expectations, but fortunately, there are ways to cope.” A solution to an inquiring mind makes a happy heart! Problems without solutions can undoubtedly be very discouraging. In theory, if I follow this step-by-step approach, I can manage/control my expectations. Right? The article lists the following steps (not my original ideas) that I want to apply to a situation I recently witnessed firsthand.

1.      Set realistic expectations

2.      Practice mindfulness

3.      Cultivate adaptability

4.      Seek support or counseling

5.      Learn from disappointments

6.      Write down your expectations and the reality to get a clear picture of the impact

First, I want to say that reality seldom meets my expectations. I like comfort, joy, and happiness 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These are possible for moments at a time, but they never seem to last. The following are my adjusted thoughts based on the abovementioned ideas for managing expectations.  

1.      I must live according to God’s Word, praying that His will be done. My expectations need to be aligned with what the Bible says, and He will direct me. Proverbs 16:3: “Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” No matter the outcome, good or bad, yes or no, I can be satisfied that my expectations have been met according to God’s will for my life.

2.      God is our firm foundation. My focus must remain on Him instead of my circumstances and the future, most of which I cannot control. If I walk according to His commandments, I should not need to fear or worry. Nothing will happen outside of what He allows in my life. God loves me, cares for me, and wants what is best for me. Whatever happens is done according to these truths.

3.      Circumstances will change sometimes. That is a given. I am reminded that God is sovereign and will provide me with grace in times of need according to 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

4.      Surround myself with the Bible doctrine and Christian friends willing to support me through life's ebbs and flows. We were never created to live life alone.  

5.      Always ask God what I can learn from each circumstance. God often allows trials to draw me closer to Him and to teach me how to minister to others. I must remember that my understanding is never a pre-requisite for trusting an all-sufficient God.

6.      I should make mental notes and journal what I’ve learned, whether “favorable” or “unfavorable.” This information can be used when ministering to others who are going through similar trials.

Managing expectations is easier with a plan of action. The time to figure it out is not after we find ourselves in the middle of life’s trials. Preparation is key! Stop, think, and act according to what we have learned from God. He will carry us through each step of the way.